Happiness List: 15 Things That Helped My Physical, Mental, and Emotional Health This Past Year
In my recent post on self-love, I shared a bit about my mental health struggles over the past several months. For many of us, the pandemic stripped the foundations from our lives — business and income, hobbies and passions, creative or athletic outlets, social life, activities that allowed us to feel purposeful in the world, and so on.
But even if we can’t fix the circumstances of the world right now, we can implement some healthy habits in our own lives to boost our mental and physical health (both are super necessary for happiness!), restore a sense of control, and give us a baseline of energy and resilience needed to keep showing up.
Even if you don’t know what’s coming next or when your circumstances will improve, you can try some new things right now to be in your best physical, mental, and emotional state, so that you’re ready to tackle what’s ahead.
Here Is My (Non-Exhaustive) Health & Happiness List
This is a pretty long list of the many different habits and practices I’ve implemented in my life over the past year to help stabilize or improve my mental health. I’ve organized them into categories of Physical Health, Mental Health, and Joy — but really they all have benefits in all categories.
Some have worked better than others, and some may work better for you while others just may not click. That’s okay. But I encourage you to try them, even if you don’t think you’ll like them. You may be surprised (I definitely was).
Although the list is long, you may want to start by just picking 1 or 2 items and seeing what impact they have on your happiness, energy, or wellbeing; once you’ve adjusted to those new habits, you might feel motivated to try another few.
What’s most important is that you find what works for you, do your best to be consistent (you won’t see any changes overnight; consistency and patience are key), and keep trying new things even if the first few attempts don’t bring the changes you hoped for.
You’ve got this!
Physical Health
I know many of us have spent a lot of the past year stuck at home, spending a lot more time in bed or on the couch in loungewear, drinking wine from the bottle and eating cartons of ice cream to feel alive. I feel you, friends! But I promise you will feel so, so much happier, more energized, more productive, and more mentally resilient when you body is healthy.
The world may be a huge bucket of disappointment right now but you can still show up to love on and take care of your body — the only one you have for the rest of your life. Here are some physical health practices that have worked for me:
1. Yoga
I actually never liked yoga before my gym closed in 2020 and I had to find new at-home workouts to keep me busy. I luckily have a friend who teaches online yoga, and her style made me fall in love with the practice. Not only did I realize it was an incredible workout for strength-building, but it also helped me get in touch with my body, my femininity, and my spiritual self in a way I had never experienced.
You can find tons of free yoga classes on YouTube, ranging from calming and meditative, to fast-paced and strengthening power flows. I recommend Boho Beautiful, Yoga With Adrienne, or the Alo Yoga classes — all free on YouTube!
Bonus if you can incorporate a cute puppy into your yoga flow! Watch this full (puppy-filled) yoga flow on my IGTV here.
2. Working out daily
Daily exercise and movement has been a game-changer for me this past year. Not only has it kept me in shape physically, but it also has become the most necessary boost of energy and positivity-packed endorphins to start my day.
If you’re struggling to feel out of control in life right now, exercise is a great way to restore a small sense of control in a healthy way — for me, I know that if I decide to work out for 20 minutes today, I have absolute power to make it happen. No inclement weather, life events, other people, or anything else can get in the way of me and my mat.
Even if you don’t like traditional exercise, the key is to just get your body moving for at least 30 minutes per day. That may be a HIIT class on YouTube (I’m addicted to Pamela Reif’s YouTube channel for this!), a yoga flow or stretching, a bike ride or walk around the neighborhood, swimming, listening to a podcast while walking on the treadmill, a dance party — you name it! Just get moving.
Although you can move your body at any time during the day that works for you, I personally prefer mornings — I’m much less likely to make excuses and let the day slip away, it improves my focus and productivity and energy for the work day, and it sets an excellent positive tone to start off the day.
For an awesome 25-minute full body HIIT workout that you can do at home with little or no equipment, watch this video on my IGTV!
3. Not Drinking (as much)
To be clear, I’m not advocating completely cutting out alcohol from your diet if you don’t think that’s right for you. I still love having a glass of wine or cocktails with friends! But I have been intentional to avoid building a habit of drinking nightly, especially alone.
There is nothing inherently wrong with the occasional drink! But it can be a slippery slope for some people, especially when drinking alone or to cope with negative emotions. And even if you’re not concerned about over-indulging, you may find that you actually just start to feel so much better — happier, more energized, less depressed and anxious, better digestion, etc. — when you wake up in the morning simply by cutting out your typical glass or two of nightly wine.
My go-to alternatives are: soda water with lime and mint, coconut water with lime, a deliciuos green juice or fresh fruit smoothie, kombucha, and homemade cacao (mix unsweetened raw cacao or cacao powder with heated nut milk, a pinch of salt, and either no sugar or the smallest bit of honey).
4. Intermittent Fasting
This may not be for everyone, but intermittent fasting has seriously changed my life since I started implementing it a year ago. For me, it looks like having an eating window from about 1pm to 8pm, and fasting the rest of the day/night.
Intermittent fasting has helped me get more in touch with my body, as it’s made me aware of how often I would eat just because I was bored, emotional, or trying to procrastinate. Now, I can better sense when my body is actually hungry, versus when my mind is just craving some immediate gratification. I no longer use food as an emotional escape, and instead turn to healthier solutions like meditation, breathing, or drinking water.
I’m also more likely to eat smaller portions now, whereas before I felt like I had an insatiable appetite and then would overeat until I was uncomfortably full. Now, when I do eat, I prefer smaller portions of healthier, cleaner foods, because I can sense that is actually what my body wants. I simply know my body and appetite so much better now!
Intermittent fasting has a ton of other proven benefits to physical health, effectiveness of workouts, mental focus, immune system, etc. Do some Googling and maybe talk with your doctor to see if it’s right for you! If you struggle with disordered eating or are pregnant, this might not be a good option for you.
Intermittent fasting has helped me understand my appetite and body better, and when I do eat, I crave healthy and fresh foods because I no longer eat for emotional reasons, instant gratification, or boredom.
Mental Health
Really, everything in this list is beneficial for mental health. Without physical health, mental health suffers! But these are some specific practices and habits that are more obviously focused on mental health in the form of counseling, meditation, positive information input, breathwork, and other psychological therapies.
1. Short Daily Meditations
Before the pandemic, I never meditated, despite hearing from nearly everyone around me how important it was. Honestly, I didn’t really know where to start and didn’t understand how to meditate, or why it was so important.
Now I try to implement a meditation practice for just 10 minutes every day, which is totally manageable! Sometimes I go longer, but 5-10 minutes is a good starting point to build a new habit.
Thankfully there are a handful of free or low-cost apps to help explain meditation to you and guide you through your meditation practices. I recommend the Calm App and the Waking Up App.
2. Podcasts
I’m a huge podcast fan, and have been especially since the world has seemed rather distant and closed off during the pandemic. Podcasts are great because you can access really diverse viewpoints, educational materials from experts, and entertainment that really feels like socializing — even when in lockdown. But most important, it’s a chunk of time where you can intentionally chose positive informational input, shutting out any negative self-talk, chaotic news, or toxic social media that may be stealing your joy these days.
Some podcasts I’ve been loving to inspire me creatively, motivate me with business, and educate me on mental health are Emotional Badass, The Tim Ferris Show, Unlocking Us (or really anything else Brene Brown does because she’s incredible), and How I Built This.
3. Gratitude JOURNALING
I start every morning with a short gratitude practice. It’s as simple as writing down 3-5 very specific things you’re grateful for from the last 24 hours. If you can write out a few sentences on each, noting the details, describing how you felt, listing the people who were a part of that moment, and really getting your senses into that memory, then you’re more likely to see benefits from this practice — your imagination will transport you to feelings of joy, thankfulness, and beauty, which helps reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress.
My gratitude practice didn’t fix everything, and definitely didn’t mean I was happy and feeling positive every day. But I imagine I would have felt a lot worse if I didn’t do this at all. Give yourself at least a few minutes each day where you’re thinking about happy things, even if it takes a bit of work to force yourself to focus on 3 happy things.
4. Counseling
This also didn’t fix everything, but it certainly helped. Weekly (virtual) counseling at least gave me someone to speak to who was safe, who I knew wouldn’t judge me or make me feel like a drain or an emotional burden, and who is an expert verbal-processor. I honestly think everyone should go to counseling at least occasionally throughout their lives, if not regularly!
Counselors are experts not just at human psychology, but also just because they’ve seen hundreds (if not thousands) of mental health battles, interpersonal conflicts, career struggles, and so on. They’ve seen what works and what doesn’t, and nothing you share with them will be a surprise. They can help guide you so you aren’t re-creating the wheel as you navigate the hurdles of life.
It may take some shopping around (like dating!) to find a counselor that clicks with you, so if you have had some less-than-stellar experiences in the past, just keep trying new people or new counseling methods. Not everyone or everything is going to work for you, and that’s okay! Don’t give up.
If you don’t have a counselor close to home, you can try an app or online virtual counseling center, such as Betterhealth or Shine App.
5. Waking Up Early
I’d never been a morning person before a couple of years ago. Now, I honestly can’t imagine living my life without my mornings! When I wake up early, I don’t feel sluggish or rushed, I can create peaceful and beautiful morning routines, and I start the day feeling proud, steady, and productive.
It was helpful to have a friend who was also waking up early to watch the sunrise each morning, so I had some accountability and felt left out if I slept in. Also, having a scheduled workout class (you can find something virtual too!) that I didn’t want to miss in the morning was a boost of motivation.
If it feels impossible, start by changing nighttime habits to get to sleep earlier, and setting the alarm clock only 10 minutes early at a time.
Up before the pups!
6. Breathwork
This has probably been the most impactful practice I’ve started for my mental health. Thankfully, in Bali, there are so many incredible breathwork coaches to help guide you through the process. But wherever you are, you can probably find a breathwork/meditation center nearby, or you can connect with a coach virtually.
Breathwork is a process of controlled and intentional breathing patterns that have been shown to change states of consciousness, heal the brain and body from trauma, and induce a ton of other neurobiological, psychological, and physical improvements.
It can be extremely intense and cause some really interesting physical reactions, or it can be gentle and implemented into a daily routine. I’ve had more breakthroughs regarding past trauma, mental health, and creativity through breathwork than any other therapy or practice! I can’t recommend this enough.
7. Moving Houses (OR SOME OTHER ENVIRONMENTAL CHANGE)
I almost left this one out because it’s a bit extreme and certainly not something everyone can just decide to “do” today. But for me, it was one of the most important decisions I made to boost my mental health.
My house had become a mental health trigger for me. It was constantly noisy (surrounded by construction, construction on my own house, barking dogs in the street, loud neighbors who threw parties) and my studio loft didn’t have a proper kitchen, dining table, or work desk. I felt trapped by the noise, the chaos & busyness that consumed my previously peaceful neighborhood, and not having a comfortable space to live/work every day.
The stress of my house caused a lot of my emotional breakdowns, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness. So, after months of putting it off and making excuses, I finally decided to move. It ended up costing me just a little more money to relocate to a peaceful home and neighborhood I loved. My mental health took a 180 immediately.
Maybe you can’t move (but also, maybe you can, and it’s worth going through the annoyance of it & making some sacrifices), or maybe it isn’t your house that’s triggering some mental health struggles for you. But is there something you can do to change your environment a little to remove a trigger?
It could be:
removing a triggering toxic relationship from your life;
rearranging your room;
investing in creating a cozy at-home work space that’s conducive to focus;
adding some plants to your home;
investing in a new computer if your current one is on its way out and pissing you off every day when you turn it on;
getting blackout curtains so you can sleep better at night;
purging your closet of old clothes you don’t wear to give yourself a fresh & minimized start;
and so on!
Spend some time surveying your environment (home, work space, relationships, etc.) and seeing if there is something you have the power to change, that could make a real positive impact on your mental health. It may be challenging or stressful to implement this change, and may require some financial or other sacrifice, but you’ll probably be so much happier afterward and only wish you’d done it sooner.
Besides, sometimes change can help pull us out of a rut and bring momentum to our lives.
Here’s a peak at my new house! It’s in a quiet, peaceful neighborhood, and I now live with some really fun, creative housemates. Oh, right — it also came with the cutest foster puppy . . . read below to meet her!
Joy (AKA “Emotional Health”)
I call this category “Joy” instead of “Emotional Health” because really, I just want you to focus on happiness here. Sometimes “health” can feel a bit like a chore, an obligation, a series of restrictions and disciplines in order to change or improve something.
I hope we can slowly re-write the way we talk about any kind of “health” so that we have more positive connotations to it. But in the meantime, I just want to make sure you know that this category is intended for pure, unstrained, uncomplicated joy.
You not only deserve it, but you need it . . . and I know deep down you want it, too.
After a very very hard month of life, I went down to Uluwatu with my friend Kirk and stayed at a little bed & breakfast that was home to three of the sweetest puppies. I can’t tell you how good this was for my soul!
1. Animals
In 100% seriousness, animals really help everything.
I realized this when I was house-hunting recently in Bali and visited a home with the cutest, cuddliest little black and white cat. The entire time I toured the house and chatted with the owner, this cat smooshed his face against my body and curled up in my arms. I didn’t end up moving into that house, but I left feeling so much happier and lighter after weeks of really low depression.
Another time, after receiving a bunch of bad news and crying for an hour, I went outside to sit by the pool and my friend’s dog, Puku, came over to sit right on my lap. Puku never does this and is notoriously anti-social and independent. But I’ve long believed that pets have such a keen sense of human emotion, and they are so so good at comforting us when they sense sadness.
I am now helping to foster a little puppy, and she greets me every day when I open my bedroom door. There is no better way to start the day!
If you can’t get your own dog or cat, consider fostering one in need, having play-dates with your friends’ pets, or having weekly visits to an animal shelter to provide some much-needed love to the pets there (and receive some much-needed love in return!).
Meet my cute little foster puppy, Ronnie!
2. Little Daily Self-Care & Pampering
I know this stuff might seem a little cheesy, and it certainly doesn’t take the place of the deep self-love and self-care work many of us need to do in our lives (myself included!).
But on a daily basis, implementing some little self-care routines that feel like pampering can bring a nice boost of joy to an otherwise mundane or tough day. It may even become something you look forward to each night, to celebrate an awesome day or to cheer yourself up after a bad one.
Personally, I like putting on a good face mask (my favorite is the charcoal mask from KoR Skincare), making popcorn, and watching feel-good movies. If you need some recommendations, try Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Where’d You Go Bernadette, and Enola Holmes. These are all very much focused on women falling in love with their awesome selves, rather than a man, because I know Hollywood romance can be triggering sometimes.
For you it may be cooking a new recipe, adding an indulgent jade-roller and amazing body lotion to your morning or nighttime routine, heading to the neighborhood cafe or your favorite corner of the house to read a fiction book, taking a bubble bath, brewing up a giant pot of tea, etc.
Okay, it might not be possible to do an at-home flower bath as elaborate as this, but you can channel the same Bali vibes! To jazz up your at-home bath, add: flower petals; an orange and/or lemon cut into thin slices; or some soothing tea like chamomile or fresh ginger.
My go-to face mask is the charcoal brightening mask from KoR Skincare!
3. Being Creative With No Ulterior Motive
I recently got a new tattoo, which occupied about 4-5 hours of my day. And I felt so happy afterward. When I brought this up with a friend, she suggested that maybe it was because it was the first time in a while I’d done something just for fun, just for me.
It made me realize how most (if not all) of the activities in my life have some kind of physical, mental, or professional growth focus to them. This isn’t bad, but it is SO important to also just do things for the joy of it.
There is value in being creative and practicing joy as an end in itself, not a means to an end.
Ceramics is such a therapeutic activity — it requires so much focus and attention (blocking out any other thoughts), you get to work with your hands and hold natural elements (clay) which is soothing/grounding, and it’s creative! If you mess up, it’s easy to start over and try again.
Since this realization, I’ve started doing more creative photography (rather than trying to create photos catered to Instagram), taking ceramics classes using a pottery wheel (super meditative and therapeutic), and practicing linocut crafts (also takes a lot of focus and it very therapeutic, and can be done at home with only a few inexpensive tools).
I also love abstract art (it’s so hard to mess up, so the pressure is off!), baking healthy cookies, and making macrame wall-hangings and pot-holders. Basically, just anything that can consume your attention for a while in a stress-free, creative, happy way!
These kinds of activities are so helpful because they really consume your focus and get you out of your head and into your body & hands.
Linocut is such a fun at-home craft you can do with very few tools needed! Look up a tutorial on YouTube and just let yourself have fun and get immersed in concentration and creativity.
4. Nature
I can’t stress enough the importance of getting into the habit of being outside, in nature, breathing fresh air . . . even if you don’t feel like it.
Whether you live surrounded by lakes and mountains and beaches, or whether you live in the city or suburbs, just finding a park or garden space is all it takes to psychologically set your mind at ease and feel the benefits our natural planet can have on mental health.
When you’re feeling depressed and anxious, just try your best to move yourself outside. I give you permission to be depressed and anxious outside. Go ahead and wallow and cry by a tree. But just start by simply moving your physical body outside. Then see what happens. It may change everything — it usually does for me, even if I had to drag myself out there because my brain told me it “wanted” to hide under the covers in bed.
Spoiler alert: you brain sometimes lies to you about these things to keep you in a mindset of self-pity and misery. Instead, try visualizing how you may feel after doing this positive thing. Focus on that, and act in accordance with it.
My favorite place to watch the sunset here in Bali: Uluwatu
You’ve Got This, Friends!
I hope this list helps you brainstorm some new things you can try to practice to improve or steady your overall health and wellness. By no means is this list all-inclusive, and I definitely don’t want you to feel overwhelmed by it. I’ve done all of these things on and off, in different seasons, with varying degrees of effectiveness.
Some of the things that have worked for me may not work for you, and that’s okay! But also, I would really encourage you to give some new things a solid try, even if you don’t think you’re going to like it (like I said, I thought I hated yoga and meditation and early mornings, and was totally spooked by breathwork before I tried it).
Please please please, if there is something that has helped you with your physical health, mental health, or joy (i.e. emotional health), share it in the comments for anyone looking for additional suggestions!
Sending you lots of love and encouragement, and a reminder that you’re doing great even as you struggle through some hard stuff.