9 Mindset Traps to Avoid During the Coronavirus Pandemic

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was March of 2020. The Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic has pushed us all into uncharted territory, with stress and panic and despair threatening to bring out our worst. But even in the midst of this chaos, we each get to choose how to respond. Read below for 9 mindset traps to avoid during your Coronavirus quarantine or self-isolation, and affirmations to use instead.

March was the longest year of our lives. Really. All our plans, routines, jobs, and social lives were wrecked when a bomb called “coronavirus” fell onto the planet. For many of us, March was a kind of “lost time” where days dragged on, and we were all reeling from shock and paralyzed by uncertainty.

But it’s a new month, and it’s time to get back on track, even if circumstances are still crap. Even if the logistics of your daily life are still messy, you can still make sure that you’re being the best version of yourself during this difficult season. Reflect on the areas where you can improve, implement changes, speak these affirmations to yourself, and decide right now that your personal growth will remain a priority moving forward.

1) Using Coronavirus as an excuse for mean, selfish, and otherwise nasty behavior.

I understand that you’re stressed. I understand you might feel scared for you and your family’s health, your business, your job security, your food supply, or the fact that you’re on your last roll of toilet paper. 

But remember that virtually every other person on the planet has also been impacted by this virus. And yet many of them have chosen to respond to their stressors and fears with extra kindness, generosity, and compassion toward others.

Although it may make sense why people respond to crises with rudeness, selfishness, and cruelty, this does not give you an excuse or justification to be a jerk. 

Remember that it is your response in times of high-stress and fear that defines your truest character. It’s easy to be kind and generous when life is good, but how will you respond when things are hard? You may not be in control of what’s happening around you right now (or ever, really), but you always have control over your response. 

You don’t have permission to disregard responsibilities just because the pandemic seems like a “bigger issue.” You do not have permission to lash out to strangers on the internet just because you're afraid. You do not have permission to be short and snippy to whomever is in quarantine with you just because you’re stressed. You do not have permission to hoard grocery items, steal medical supplies from clinics, or withhold things from people in need when you have plenty.

This is the time to be humble and honest about the icky parts of you that have been brought to the surface during this season. Do not excuse them and let them persist. It is possible to come out of this season a better version of yourself, rather than having to clean up a lot of damage you caused. 

Affirmation to replace mean behavior:

• My stress and fear are normal, but they are not excuses to be a jerk.

• The positive examples of others remind me that in the midst of my stress and fear, I can still respond with goodness.

• I will take full responsibility for my bad behavior & will not seek excuses, and will humbly apologize to those I’ve hurt.

• I may not be able to control my circumstances right now, but I can control my response, and I will choose to come out of this season as a more compassionate, kind, generous person.

2) Seeking out a scapegoat.

Humans have sought out scapegoats since the beginning of time as a response to fear. When life falls into chaos, when the future seems bleak or confusing, we become desperate to make sense of things, and to find order in the chaos. We look for someone to blame. 

In a way, it gives a false sense of control over the situation, because many people (especially in Western civilization) struggle to accept that sometimes terrible things happen without a “bad guy” being responsible for it.

Blame allows us to place the overwhelming weight of our fear, stress, and confusion onto some tangible, real-life human being. It allows us to channel all our internal struggle into targeted hate and anger. 

Once we find someone who is responsible, who has “caused” this evil, then the world makes sense again. Life might suck just as much as it did before, but at least we can direct our emotions toward someone else rather than having to process them internally.

But the unfortunate reality is that, sometimes, life is just chaotic. Sometimes really bad things happen, and no one person or organization is at fault. Sometimes things fall into disorder and any attempt make sense of them will leave you trapped in a maze of misplaced rage.

And all the time, people are imperfect — you are imperfect. We all carry the weight of a failed global response to this unprecedented health crisis. 

Do still hold your leaders and fellow citizens accountable, and please continue advocating for necessary change (that’s what this article is all about!). Do still take responsibility for your own failures, even as you work to withhold blame on others. 

Blame is the simplest way to make sense of pain. It is not easy to change that mode of thinking and it means you’ll have to actually deal with your negative emotions. But once you can learn to let go of the need to find a scapegoat in painful, chaotic circumstances, the closer you’ll be to achieving inner peace in any situation.

Affirmation when feeling the temptation to blame others:

• My desire to blame other is normal, because I am struggling to process the pain, chaos, and uncertainty of life right now.

• But I know that as humans, we are all responding imperfectly; finding a scapegoat is not fair, reasonable, or helpful in my attempts to cope.

• I know that blaming others only re-directs my anger and fear onto others, and won’t actually have the result of bringing me joy, peace, or purpose.

• I will do the hard work right now to understand and work through my emotions rather than placing them onto others.

3) Judging others.

If there’s anything that is clear during this pandemic, it’s that absolutely no one has any idea what the heck they’re doing. Not one person alive has experienced a global pandemic like this. No government or parent or business-owner or friend has navigated this particular kind of chaos and uncertainty in their entire lives.

We are all, without a doubt, imperfectly responding to the situation as it unfolds before us.

Remember all the ways you made mistakes in the past couple of months? Remember when you failed to take things as seriously as you should have because it wasn’t in your face yet? when you made insensitive jokes? when you panicked and made a stupid decision? when you snapped at your family under stress?

Information is changing each day, and the new information you have today may not hit another city or country for another few days. The information you receive today may be outdated by this afternoon. The realities others are facing — fears, finances, health, family dynamics, etc. — may not be your reality for another week, or ever. 

Yes, we may all be “in the same boat,” but the view from the window is different for each of us.

My hope is that with each new day, you don’t simply climb higher and higher onto your pedestal and judge people around you for acting in the same ways you were acting just last week. My hope is that you stop holding others to standards you wouldn’t want for yourself. My hope is that you recognize your privileges, and show grace to others who are fighting their own hidden battles.

This doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have opinions, and I encourage everyone to continue doing research, staying up to date on current events, raising awareness, and critically thinking about the information and data being spread around (even by your government). Speak truth and promote responsible behavior as part of your duty to humanity.

But judging, condemning, and demonizing people you don’t know, with struggles and circumstances you can’t fully understand, does not make you noble. Attacking people rather than asking genuine questions and being open to conversation does not make you inferior to others. It just makes you rude.

Recognize your own mistakes, and give others the same grace and compassion that you’d hope to receive yourself.

Affirmations when I am judging others:

• I have made many mistakes during this season, and I am grateful for how I’ve been offered forgiveness, compassion, and grace.

• I will stop using judging and condemning words like “stupid” or “selfish” or “evil,” and I will stop trying to ascribe motive and assume flaws in a stranger’s character or values.

• I commit to staying educated and informed, and raising awareness to encourage others to behave responsibly, but I will do so with kindness and compassion and humility.

• I will ask questions and remain open to conversation when I feel the urge to judge.

• I know that like me, most people are trying their best in light of extremely challenging, confusing, and painful circumstances. 

4) Excusing unhealthy Coping behaviors.

I’m not gonna lie, the internet is on fire right now. There’s an entire Instagram account dedicated to Coronavirus humor called @quentin.quarantino and it is freaking hilarious and sometimes these memes are the only thing to get me through the day.

Some of the funniest ones target the super messy, dysfunctional lifestyles many of us have fallen into. Binge-watching Netflix, excessive drinking, sitting on the couch in the same pajamas each day eating ice cream for breakfast, and so on.

Mind you, it is funny. These memes are great. We’re all kind of a mess right now and we can either cry about it or laugh about it and it’s much more fun (and probably healthier) to laugh about it. 

But at some point it stops being funny. 

Life is weird and difficult right now, and we’ll all have days where we sleep in late, don’t change out of pajamas, watch 10 hours of Tiger King, and open a bottle of wine at 1pm on a Tuesday because who’s even keeping track right now??

But friends, this cannot become your new normal. This is not one Friday night of indulgence. This is, most likely, our new reality for the next few months. If you give yourself the excuse to use alcohol, food, or Netflix as a coping mechanism for your stressors, where will you draw the line? When will it end?

These next few months will bring more stress, fear, loneliness, and bad news than most of us have ever experienced in such a short period of time. If you allow all of these negative emotions to become triggers for unhealthy behavior, this will become your new normal. Every minute of every day will give you an excuse to indulge.

Move your body for at least 30 minutes each day. Stop filling your house with junk food and booze, and start consuming things that nurture your health (health that so many people don’t have right now). Wake up early and change into normal clothes. Go ahead and watch Netflix, but also read a book, practice a new language, make DIY hospital masks to donate to local clinics, clean your closet, and be intentional with friends and family.

When this all ends, you’ll have a much tougher time recovering if you’ve spent the last few months acting like a sloth. Do not ignore your health and bury yourself under piles of dysfunctional behaviors that will harm you well after this pandemic stops, because your binge-drinking/eating/Netflixing won’t seem so funny then.

Affirmations when I want to binge:

• My health is a privilege that many don’t have right now. I’m grateful for my health and therefore will not squander it.

• I refuse to allow my excuses to become my habits.

• I commit to 30 minutes of physical movement each day, healthy meals, productive morning routine, and limited consumption of TV, alcohol, and sweets.

• Despite the temptations I feel now, I know I will feel better after making healthy & productive choices and I will love my future self enough to make those choices now.

5) Guilt for Not doing enough. 

I feel the need to follow the previous section with another very important reminder: you do not need to produce something Nobel Prize-worthy during your quarantine.

It’s easy to feel guilty when it seems like other people are doing more. Maybe you read that quote circulating about how Isaac Newton developed calculus while in quarantine but you’re spending all your energy each day just trying to keep the kids alive while navigating conference calls and without snapping at your husband.

You do not need to write the next great American novel; you do not need to get in the best shape of your life; you do not need to give away your work for free; you do not need to spend all your free time doing humanitarian work and reading self-help books.

If you want to do these things, then power to you! I think you’re awesome and capable and I support you 100%.

But if you instead spend these months doing your best to keep your business afloat, making sure your kids do their online classes, and struggling to sneak in a quick morning yoga session from the solitude of your bathroom, then that’s okay too. If you spend this time resting, slowing down, and working on being more gentle and patient and joyful, then I think you’re doing awesome.

This is hard. What you’re doing is hard. Be kind to yourself when you’re doing it imperfectly, when things are messy and you cry a lot of and you feel like you can barely keep up. 

You’re doing great and you’re not alone. Try to move your body each day, eat more green foods and less chocolate and wine, be kind to others, and prioritize personal growth in the midst of everything even if you don’t have superhuman productivity levels.

Affirmations when I feel like I’m not doing enough:

• I am doing a great job at X, Y, and Z.

• I will have grace for myself during this new, challenging season just as I’d have grace for my best friend.

• I will continue to prioritize my mental/physical health, professional and familial responsibilities, and personal growth, but I will stop punishing myself for being imperfect along the way.

• My outward productivity does not define my character.

• When I make mistakes, I will take responsibility, forgive myself, and move forward. I will celebrate even my smallest accomplishments throughout the day, and will speak kindly and graciously to myself & my body. 

6) Feeling sorry for yourself. 

Nearly every country around the world has been hit by COVID-19. Millions of people are on lockdown or quarantined inside their homes or hotels. We’ve all had to cancel important plans. Economically, the pandemic has touched nearly every industry — from food to tourism to banks to restaurants to fashion to entertainment and beyond.

Your struggles, your pain, and your fear are all absolutely valid. They are real. This freaking sucks, guys!

But you are not alone in your health fears, financial insecurity, cancelled plans, or life uncertainties.

This should be comforting, but also challenging, because it means you don’t really have any standing for self-pity. 

Your life is hard right now. And if you wanted to dig a hole to go wallow in for the next few months, you’d have no difficulty finding a shovel.

But come on — do you really want to be the person hiding in a pit of self-pity during this season? Don’t expect anyone else to come feel sorry for you, because they’re busy dealing with their own challenges.

You get to choose whether you will spend these months feeling sorry for yourself, or pushing through along with the rest of the suffering world. You get to choose which thoughts you let make a home inside your head; you get to choose the perspective with which you see obstacles; you get to choose whether to seek out purpose and adapt, or whether to focus on negativity and all your misfortunes.

Acknowledge your pain, but have perspective. Start every single morning writing down five things you’re grateful for from the past 24 hours.

Write down your struggles, and then list 2-3 specific ways you plan to reshape each of those negative thoughts into thoughts/actions of purpose, opportunity, and thankfulness. (Example: turn “I lost all my contracting jobs for the next two months” into “I finally have time to take that online marketing course I’ve been eyeing for years” or “Many of us have lost jobs, but I am grateful for having a savings/unemployment benefits to support me during this time.”)

I want you to have joy, positivity, and productivity during this season, and not be crying in a pit of despair (that you dug for yourself) all alone for the next few months. 

Affirmation when you’re feeling sorry for yourself:

• I acknowledge that my struggles and pain are valid and real.

• I also acknowledge that millions of people around the world are struggling as well, or have worse circumstances.

• I will choose to see opportunity instead of disadvantage, blessing instead of lack.

• I recognize that my ability to quarantine, practice social distancing, work from home, communicate via technology, etc. is a privilege that many don’t have right now.

• Today, I am grateful for these 5 things.

7) Ignoring your needs and not asking for help.

Perspective, positivity, and gratitude are excellent tools to fight against negativity, but I want to also be clear that ignoring your emotions, pain, and needs is counter-productive. This will not be beneficial to you or anyone around you, and your buried suffering will eventually surface in unhealthy ways, like resentment or depression or self-pity.

We’re all struggling right now, but most people are also hungry for purpose and positivity. Helping others allows people to feel interconnected, useful, and needed, which we all could use more of right now.

Do not let your pride or insecurities rob the people around you of the positivity and purpose they get from being able to help. And on top of that, do not bury your emotions and ignore your needs, only to lash out at others later on, and deplete yourself of the energy and joy you need to serve others and be your best self.

Ask a friend for help getting groceries if you’re health compromised, or if you’re quarantined with someone who is at-risk. Let your housemate cook you dinner after you’ve had a hard day. FaceTime a friend and tell her you’re struggling with loneliness and could use some encouragement. Set aside an hour each week for a virtual therapy sessions with a counselor. Ask for your husband to entertain the kids for an hour each day so that you can read or take a bath or finish a project. 

Take care of yourself so that you can be effective with your business, your family, and your friends. Show to the people you love, through your own example, that it’s okay for them to ask for help and to be honest about their struggles, too. And then respond with gratefulness, and show up for others when they need you in return. 

Affirmations when you need help:

• I am human, and it’s normal to be struggling right now.

• I love myself and therefore I will not disregard, ignore, or belittle my needs and feelings.

• Just as I’d want a loved one to do with me, I will be honest about my struggles and will ask for help when I need it.

• I will humbly and graciously accept help, and will not allow my pride and ego to get in the way of my health and success.

• I will allow others to help fill me up and meet my needs so that I can be effective in loving and meeting the needs of others.

8) Having a mindset of Scarcity.

“Scarcity mindsets” has been a hot topic in the personal growth world the past few years, but it’s worth addressing now in a new light — because  “scarcity” seems a lot more real for many of us right now.

In case you’re new to the concept, a “scarcity mindset” is the belief that there is limited opportunity, blessing, and success in the world. This often leads to fear, jealousy, selfishness, and short-term-thinking, because people with scarcity mindsets believe that one person’s success means less success is available to the rest of the us. This person believes that gifts and blessings must be held tightly, because it’s uncertain when, or if, additional blessing will come into her life.  

By contrast, someone with an “abundance mindset” believes that opportunity, success, joy, and money are not finite in this world. This person is not threatened by another person’s good fortune, and is more likely to be generous, supportive rather than competitive, others-focused, hopeful for the future, and focused on longer-term/bigger-picture goals. This person expects good things to come, and therefore naturally seeks out & focuses on good things. In other words, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Right now, I recognize that the temptation to fear the future, hoard supplies, stop giving time and money to those in need, feel jealous of people in better circumstances, and make short-term panicked decisions is stronger than ever. Many of us are facing shortages of jobs, government assistance, food, medical supplies, and healthcare like never before.

But the thing about mindsets is that they are internal values that shouldn’t shift based on circumstances. So right now, during a time where resources seem objectively scarce, maintaining an abundance mindset is not only possible but extra important. 

Panic will try its hardest to settle in and make you fear the future, withhold from others, make irrational decisions, and rob you of joy, love, and interconnectedness during a time when you need these things most.

Yes, be wise with your money and resources, and thoughtfully & prayerfully plan for a challenging next few months ahead. But do not resort to greed, hoarding, and withholding things from others in need when you have more than enough. Do not make big decisions for your business, relationships, or family out of fear and panic, but rather keep long-term goals, values, and priorities in mind. And please, for your sake and that of others, do not let jealousy of the good fortunes of others brew inside your heart until it turns into judgment and hatred.

Affirmations when struggling to live out of abundance:

• My mindset of abundance or scarcity is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

• Today I choose to believe that good things will come to me, that opportunities will arise, that gifts will be offered at my doorstep; and I will make sure to have a positive mindset, attitude, and perspective in order to notice these blessings and use them effectively when they come.

• I will be bold with my generosity and, in areas where I feel the temptation to hoard or be close-fisted, I will be even more intentional to give.

• I will seek out ways to give back to my community and the people I encounter every day, whether it is through time, money, kindness/love, or other resources. And I will trust that what I give to others, I will receive in abundance in return.

9) This is forever.

We all know the old adage, “This too, shall pass.” As simple and cliche as it may sound, so much of our grief and despair comes when we forget that no matter how terrible a season is, it is not forever. 

Right now, having perspective is incredibly difficult, because we don’t understand what’s happing and we have no idea when this will end.

I get it. Really. We have no idea how long this season will be or what wreckage it will leave in its wake.

In the meantime, the affirmations and mindset checks described in this article will help make this season healthier and more productive and joyful for you. But at the end of each day, be sure to remind yourself that this is not forever.

Plagues, wars, famines, and economic recessions have hit the world in the past, and yet we’ve pulled through. Society and people have adapted, and those seasons have passed. This season, too, shall pass. 

Your pain and grief right now is real, but it is not forever. You will rebuild financially, and find a new job when this is over. You will experience the joy of social gatherings, eating out, traveling, and overall freedom again. The world will be different forever, but normalcy will return.

Don’t trust me? Look at China. I’ve loved following social media accounts from friends living in China right now, and watching life return to normal there. China’s response to the Coronavirus outbreak began months before the rest of the world, which means we get to see what things might look like for us a few months from now — people returning to their gyms, taking the subway, meeting up with friends, and returning to their jobs.

I’m sure to many people in China, months of lockdown felt like the end of the world. But it was just a season. A terrible season, to be sure, but a season nonetheless — and we can watch that season come to an end for them, as we just begin to venture into it, and be reminded that this too, shall pass for us.

Affirmations when it feels like the world is ending:

• Humans have gone through wars, famines, recessions, and pandemics before and survived.

• I, personally, have gone through seasons of death, loss, financial insecurity, loneliness, confusion, or [fill in the blank] and have survived, even grown through those difficult seasons.

• I will do my best to avoid negative mindsets during this season, to seek out opportunity and positivity, and the pursue personal growth during this season, however long it may be, because I know it is not forever.

• This too, shall pass.

Let’s Go.

This is, without a doubt, one of the most challenging times any of us will ever experience in our lives. But whether you’re thriving during this time with a new online business and heartfelt game-nights with the family, or whether you’re struggling every day to make ends meet and feed the kids and keep the house clean and find time for work projects, you can always choose your mindset.

Even when it feels like the world is caving in around you, you have power and control over the perspectives & responses you carry through the day. I hope this article helps you be mindful of some of the mindset traps to avoid during this season, and allows you to have more gratitude, joy, and health during this season moving forward!

I love you all and want the very best for you, so let’s make these moments matter. Let’s make extra effort these days to make the world a better place, and to spread kindness, love, and generosity when humanity needs it most.

Have any questions on these tips or anything to add to this list? Let me know in the comments below!